


All Of Our Ghosts (We Both Know We Ain't Kids No More Remix)

by lforevermore



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abuse, All hurt, Assisted Suicide, Basically Sexual Slavery, Bondage, Breathplay, Coercion, Dark Ryan, Dirty Talk, Domestic Violence, Drug Use, Drugged Sex, Face Slapping, FaceFucking, Gags, Gangbang, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Rough Sex, Smut, Unsafe Sex, Verbal Humiliation, mentions of cigarette burns, mentions of somnophilia, no comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:46:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7816645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lforevermore/pseuds/lforevermore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a beautiful amazingly <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7691563">dark work by Emono</a> - read that one first or this one won't make sense. </p><p>Ryan is a high end drug dealer. Ray and Gavin's murder plans go awry. Something gave, alright.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emono](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/gifts).
  * Inspired by [We Both Know We Ain't Kids No More](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7691563) by [Emono](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/pseuds/Emono). 



> First things first, this is an incredibly dark fic that may trigger you, so please read with caution.
> 
> Secondly, Emono, this is for you - you're amazing, your writing is amazing, keep being awesome.
> 
> Follow at inmywildernesswriting.tumblr.com

It should have worked.

It should have _worked_ , damn it, they had thought it was going to work, that they were going to be free. Instead, Ray found himself held back by rough hands while Gavin took the brunt of Ryan’s displeasure. Ray shouted as Ryan bodily lifted Gavin by the throat, throwing him into the desk and sending all of the papers and pens scattering as Gavin bounced off of it and onto the floor with a groan. He laid there in a crumpled heap, shirt torn open to reveal the rapidly darkening bruises on his chest.

Ryan hadn’t laid a hand on Ray. Yet.

“You think I didn’t fucking _know_?” Ryan growled, walking over and pulling Gavin up by his hair. “I was _kind_ to you, sweetheart, let you have a little friend that I could keep an eye on. I thought, you know, you’d been pretty good for me, lately, done everything I told you to do. I thought I could loosen your leash a little, let you have a little fun, too, and you try to _kill me_.” He pulled the laced cocaine from his pocket, still in its little baggie, and dangled it in front of Gavin’s face. “Maybe I should make you take it instead, point a gun at your precious boy’s head as insurance.”

“No!” Ray shouted, unable to help himself. “No, don’t…”

Ryan dropped Gavin, who hit the ground again with another pained grunt, rounding on Ray. He shrunk back into the arms of the men holding him. “And _you_ ,” he said, finger held out accusingly. Ryan’s jaw was clenched in anger, eyes alight with a dangerous flame. “You stupid _whore_ , you think you can fucking take me on? I was good to you, baby, I was so good to you. I kept a goddamn roof over your head, I kept your family safe and fed, and _this_ is how you repay me.” His hand came down onto Ray’s face, hard, and then he was dragging Ray’s gaze back to his. “Do you understand that I could just kill him, and Gavin’s only got you left to lose? You, on the other hand, could lose a lot more, couldn’t you? Like that family I mentioned?”

Ray’s breath caught, eyes going wide.

Ryan crouched down, getting close to his face so that their lips were only barely apart. It was a mockery of intimacy, Ryan’s breath mixing with his, and Ray swallowed nervously. “Give me a damn good reason not to make you watch me cut down everyone you love,” Ryan murmured, like he was whispering a gentle secret.

It was so soon to break, but Ray was no stalwart soldier, not used to this harsh life. He’d always been on the fringe of Ryan’s business, on the lighter edge of Ryan’s anger, never this close to the danger and cruelty that simmered below. “Please… not them, not him,” he begged, tears spilling over. “I’ll do anything you want, I’ll be so good, Ryan, please.”

Ryan regarded him dispassionately before raising his hand to pat Ray roughly on the cheek. “God, you’re lucky you’re so damn pretty.” He stood, glancing from Ray back to Gavin, who could have very well finally have passed out, blood in his hair and staining his white shirt. “Take him up to Gavin’s room. As of right now, Ray is a very important _guest_.”

They dragged Ray out of the room, half-carrying him up the massive flight of stairs to throw him in a bedroom, where he hit the floor with a thud. It wasn’t nearly as big as Ryan’s, of course, but was relatively impressive. The bed was messy, clothes strewn about the floor, and Ryan could see an attached bathroom.

He heard the door close, followed by the loud click of a lock in the silence that followed. Ray’s breath came in ragged gasps, and he stumbled to his feet. He made his way to the bed, collapsing on top of the covers and curling into himself, wrapping himself in the smell of _Gavin_ and wishing they had been better, faster, more _something_ , so that they would be free.

Now, Ray had a feeling he would be caged just as much as Gavin was.

 

Ray went three days without seeing anyone but the maid who brought his meals. She didn’t look him in the eye, didn’t speak to him – just set his tray down on the table and walked out, locking the door behind her. He didn’t try to run, didn’t try to overpower her and get the key. He couldn’t leave Gavin behind, and he was pretty sure Ryan would have made him watch if Gavin were going to die.

Ray ate and slept because he had to. He took too-long showers, using Gavin’s shampoo, and dressed himself in Gavin’s clothes, sleeping in Gavin’s bed. His heart _ached_ to hold him, to bury his face in Gavin’s hair and in his neck and just take in the fact that they were both alive. Instead, Ray was alone, forced into isolation, unable to tell even his parents that he was okay (for a given definition of the word, anyway). There was an Xbox in the room, at least, and so Ray kept himself busy as best he could.

He was playing Xbox, wrapped in Gavin’s comforter and wearing Gavin’s pajama pants, when the door opened. Instead of the maid, however, it was Ryan, still dressed in his day’s suit, walking into the room and closing the door behind him.

“Hey, baby,” Ryan said, easy like Ray’s heart wasn’t thundering, like Ray wasn’t damn near terrified at the sight of him. “Make yourself at home?”

“Where’s Gavin?” Ray demanded.

Ryan shrugged. “Alive,” he said, and stalked toward the bed. “I’m feeling nice today. If you’re good for me, I’ll take you to see him.”

Ray tossed the controller aside, glaring at Ryan.

Ryan arched an eyebrow. “Anything I want, remember? Or did you want to go ahead and take that back?”

“No,” Ray said quickly. “No, I-“

“Because I’ll let you go, Ray,” Ryan said, and Ray stopped short. “I’ll let you walk out of here, and I’ll never darken your doorstep again. But you’ll never know where he is, what he’s doing. You’ll never even know if he’s alive.”

Ray hesitated, and hated himself for it. “Anything you want,” he finally said.

“Good boy.” Ryan’s hands went up, starting to undo the buttons on his jacket and then his shirt. “Come on, baby, show me that sexy body.”

Ray pulled his shirt over his head, shaky fingers on the hem, and threw it to the floor before starting to pull his pajama pants off as well.

“Aren’t you cute in Gavin’s clothes,” Ryan said, giving the fabric a tug as he undid his pants. “You must miss the little slut, huh?”

“Don’t call him that,” Ray snapped.

Ryan’s hand in his hair was swift and painful. Ray sucked in a breath through his teeth, clambering to go wherever the man led him just to ease the pain, winding up on his knees in front of Ryan. “You don’t get to tell me what to do. Learn your goddamn place.” He gave Ray a shake, and the boy whimpered, hands flying up to clutch at Ryan’s wrist as tears welled up. Cruel fingers twisted in the strands of his hair. “Well? I’m waiting.”

“I’m sorry!” Ray gasped. “I’m sorry, I won’t-“

“Damn right you won’t. Open your mouth.” Ryan’s cock was hard and heavy in front of him, and Ray _hated_ this.

He did as he was told, though, fingers curling on his thighs while he parted his lips, raising his head. Ryan’s big hands curled around his cheeks, thumbs going into his mouth to pull his mouth even wider, wider than was comfortable, and Ray clenched his fingers into fists.

“I like you like this,” Ryan said, sliding his cock between Ray’s lips, hands going to curl into Ray’s hair. “Can’t bitch when you’re sucking my cock, can you?”

Ray resisted the urge to raise a middle finger out of spite – he had to be _good_ , damn it, had to see Gavin, had to make sure he was alright. Whatever Ryan did to him, he could take it.

Ryan fucked his face, setting a brutal pace that had Ray digging his own fingers into his thighs, trying to resist pushing Ryan away. Ryan’s fingers were harsh in his hair, dragging him up and down his cock, until Ray was as messy as he usually liked him – a mix of precum, sweat, saliva, and tears.

Ryan finally pulled away, seeming to relish in the panicked, desperate breath that Ray sucked in, hand slipping from Ray’s hair to curl around his throat, working his own cock with practiced, deft fingers. Ray closed his eyes just in time, come splattering on his face, his cheeks, his chest. Ryan breathed out in a satisfied sigh, hand still tight around Ray’s throat, and Ray felt his thumb swipe across his cheek, then press to his lips. Ray opened his mouth obediently, licking around the digit as Ryan fed him the sticky mess on his face.

Ryan pulled away from him completely after a long moment, and Ray took in a breath that wasn’t restricted, wasn’t labored in any way. When he opened his eyes, Ryan was redoing the buttons on his shirt, making himself presentable.

Ray got to his feet, heading towards the bathroom to get himself cleaned up. He wiped his face quickly, cleaned off his chest, and ran fingers through his hair in an effort to tame down the strands that Ryan had twisted and pulled into a mess. When he came back, there were clothes laid out on the bed – a shirt and a tight pair of jeans, no underwear – while Ryan sat on the edge of the bed, eyes on his phone.

Ray’s blood _boiled_.

“You controlling _asshole_ ,” Ray snapped. “You don’t get to just-“

There were times when Ray forgot just how big Ryan was compared to him. And then there were times like this, where Ray was forcibly reminded – this time it was in the form of an absolutely vicious backhand, one that sent Ray to the floor with the wind knocked out of him, one of Ryan’s rings catching his cheek in a long, stinging scratch. Ryan towered over him, watching him dispassionately, and Ray couldn’t bring himself to meet the man’s face, knowing Ryan would see the fear there.

“Let me be absolutely clear for you, baby,” Ryan said, crouching down over Ray, one hand curling around Ray’s arm in a bruising grip. “ _You_ don’t get a goddamn say anymore. You don’t get to go to school, you don’t get to see your family, you don’t get to do a fucking thing I don’t let you. You don’t get to bitch and moan about anything at all – you take what I give you and you’re fucking _grateful_ for it, or you don’t get to see that imported whore at all. Understand?” Ray nodded quickly, heart pounding and breath coming in short gasps. Ryan released his arm, giving it a shove so that Ray went flat on the ground, and then the man stood straight, pulling a package of cigarettes from his pocket. “Now put your fucking clothes on if you want to see him.”

Ray shakily got to his feet while Ryan lit up, the man’s eyes on his body appreciatively while he quickly slipped into the clothes provided for him. Once he’d pulled the shirt over his head, Ryan gestured impatiently, taking drags of his cigarette and leading Ray out of the bedroom. They walked the halls, Ray unable to match Ryan’s long strides, until Ryan led them out into the opulent driveway where a sleek black car was waiting.

“He’s not here?” The question slipped out before Ray could catch it behind his teeth.

Ryan smirked, dark and dangerous, grabbing Ray’s arm and manhandling him into the backseat. “I can’t make any money off of him if he’s here, baby.” He settled in beside Ray, closing the door and motioning for the driver to carry on.

Ray’s heart dropped like a stone as the implications of Ryan’s words set in. “Where is he? What are you making him do, you fucking-“

Ryan’s big hand came down heavy over his mouth, cutting off anything else that Ray was about to say. “Last warning. If you want to see him, you’ll shut the hell up.” His fingers dug into Ray’s cheeks and jaw, threatening to leave fingerprint bruises for all the world to see.

When he finally pulled away, Ray kept his mouth shut, scared silent for the moment.  Ryan could do anything he wanted here – he was in Ryan’s world now, absolutely at his mercy, with no chance of escaping unless he wanted to leave Gavin behind.

He couldn’t leave his beautiful boy behind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan takes Ray to see Gavin in a horrifying scene.

The club was seedy at best, too dark, with too many flashing lights and grinding bodies. The skimpily dressed girls and boys on the stage were not Ray’s scene at all, and every time a half-dressed waiter or waitress went by, Ray was looking to see if he could find that familiar blond hair, that devil-may-care mask that only he got to see past. Ryan had his fingers curled around Ray’s arm, leading him through the crowd that parted for the imposing man.

Ryan led him to the bar, seating him on a stool, and Ray looked around, expecting to see Gavin working the floor or carrying drinks. Instead, the pretty bartender set a pair of drinks in front of them – something amber on ice for Ryan, and a shot in front of Ray.

“You know I don’t drink,” Ray said, trying to keep his tone calm and, dare he say, submissive.

“I don’t really care. I didn’t fucking ask if you did or not.” Ryan took a sip of his own, then moved Ray’s shot closer to the boy. “Drink it. It’s a little mercy for you.” He watched, and when Ray didn’t make a move towards his glass, Ryan leaned in close. “Or I can take you right back to Gavin’s room, and maybe you can see him another time, baby.”

Ray clenched his teeth, reaching for the shot and downing it quickly. It burned, and he sputtered, hating the taste. It would go straight to his head, he knew – Ryan probably knew it, too, the bastard. Ryan waved for the bartender, who quickly brought over another shot, placing it in front of Ray.

Ray rolled his eyes, looking at Ryan almost pleadingly. Ryan looked coldly back at him, taking a sip of his drink and a drag of his cigarette, then motioning towards the shot. Ray stared at the drink for a long moment – reminded himself that Gavin needed him – and knocked it back as well, shuddering. This one went down easier, but he still made a face.

Ryan chuckled. “You’ll get used to it,” he said, and Ray shivered again, this time at his dark, promising tone. “You’ll fucking thank me for it later.”

Ryan finished his drink, standing once more. This time, he curled his arm around Ray’s waist, dragging him close. It may have looked intimate, but Ray knew it for what it was – insurance that Ray wouldn’t dart away, wouldn’t be lost in the crowd. Ray drew stares, he suddenly noticed. His jeans were tight and his shirt was almost sheer in the strange club lighting. The stares weren’t at all friendly, leers and smirks that told him exactly what they were thinking.

Ryan led him to a door in a dark corner and Ray was suddenly hit with a memory of Gavin speaking about trick rooms, about Ryan’s favorite game – “ _Will you get fucked ‘til you bleed or won’t you?_ ” – and his blood ran cold.

“What are you doing to him?” he asked, barely loud enough to be heard and terrified of the answer.

Ryan laughed, a harsh, cruel sound. “Just remember, baby, you’re the one who wanted to see him.”

Ryan opened the door, shoving Ray inside – it was better lit, and Ray could see couches along the wall, a couple tables scattered in the room that were littered with empty glasses and drug paraphernalia. There were men all throughout the room, eyes turning to look at Ryan and then landing hungrily on Ray, like he was some kind of chew toy, something shiny and new to play with. He couldn’t help it as he curled into Ryan, surveying the room.

There, in the middle of it all, was Gavin.

He was on his hands and knees on the dirty floor, and even in the low light, Ray could see the bruises and scratches along his body, the way that his hair was being held in someone’s hand, his lips around a cock. There were cuffs around his wrists, and a man that was almost literally covered in tattoos was working his cock into Gavin’s ass, hand coming down to slap at a thigh to get him to spread his legs wider. Gavin didn’t even glance over at their entrance, and it didn’t take Ray more than a moment to figure out that Ryan had wound him up again, set the stage for his toy to play on, high on coke and desperate.

Ryan slipped behind him, fingers trailing down Ray’s arms in a mockery of a lover’s caress. “Look at him go,” Ryan murmured in his ear. “Isn’t he fucking pretty like this?”

“Stop,” Ray managed hoarsely. “Please, stop this, take him home, _please don’t do this to him!_ ”

Ryan chuckled again, yanking Ray’s arms behind his back harshly. Something closed over Ray’s wrists, cuffs, he’d bet, and then he heard the links of a chain. When Ryan stepped away, Ray realized that he had essentially been chained to the wall, and he froze for a moment, terrified that Ryan was about to throw him into the fray. Instead, Ryan just leaned over a pile of clothes not far from the door, digging for a moment before pulling out a pair of briefs, cut high and skimpy.

“Gavin doesn’t need these anymore,” Ryan said, stalking back over to Ray, grabbing something from a table as he went. Ray backed away as much as he could, until his back hit the wall, trapping his hands behind him. “Open your mouth.”

Ray pressed his lips shut, turning his face away – a small moment of defiance. Ryan simply turned his face over his shoulder, to where Gavin had been pulled onto the tattooed man’s lap while he fucked roughly into him, keens and pleas to not stop falling out of his mouth.

“Choke him, Geoff,” Ryan said, and Ray lunged forward, forgetting his cuffs momentarily, as the man’s hands closed around Gavin’s throat. Ryan slammed him back into the wall, pinning him there so that Ray could only watch as Gavin struggled for breath, cock still hard and hips still moving. “Doesn’t matter to them if he’s conscious or not,” Ryan said nonchalantly, then ordered again, “Open your mouth.”

Ray let his mouth fall open, cringing a little as Ryan promptly stuffed Gavin’s briefs inside – just enough to make him uncomfortable, not enough to choke him.

“Good boy,” Ryan purred darkly. “And just as a little extra insurance – I know how you like to bitch and whine, baby, can’t have you killing the mood.” There was a ripping sound, and then Ryan was pressing tape over his mouth, even as Ray thrashed his head in an attempt to escape. Ryan patted his cheek roughly. “Enjoy the show, baby.”

Geoff had released Gavin’s throat, let the blond’s head roll back as he gasped for breath, fingers working his own cock, even though Ray can see a cock ring on him in the dim light. “Bloody _fuck_ ,” Gavin said, and sounded positively joyful, even as his voice rasped from his throat being used. “God, so _good_ , fuck me, you bastard.” Geoff dug his nails into the meat of Gavin’s thighs, dragging them up and making the blond arch with a drawn-out moan. He ground down again, as though he wouldn’t dare pull up and away from Geoff’s cock. Then Geoff was gripping his hips tightly, latching his teeth onto Gavin’s shoulder and coming with a long, gruff moan, drawing a breathless laugh from Gavin.

Geoff promptly pulled away from Gavin, shoving him to the side and moving for one of the many couches, grabbing a drink as he went. Ray couldn’t tear his eyes away from where Gavin was chuckling on the floor, smiling like he was having the time of his life even as Ray could see every bruise and scratch, the redness of his neck from being choked. He would be in so much pain, Ray knew, mind flashing to the night that Gavin had run to him after one of these sessions. He would be so ashamed, broken even further by this rabbit hole that Ryan had created for him.

Ryan shed his suit jacket, hanging it on a hook by the door, and unbuttoned the sleeves of his dress shirt to roll them up to his elbows. “There’s my little imported twink,” he said, striding over to press his dress shoe into Gavin’s chest, holding him to the floor. “Having fun?”

Gavin lolled his head to the side, looking up at Ryan with a loose grin on his face. “Yeah, Daddy,” he said, the words falling off his tongue. Ray made an outraged noise behind the gag, tugging at the cuffs and chain once more as though they would magically disappear. He wanted to cover Gavin, to take him home and hide him away from the world.

Gavin ran his fingertips over Ryan’s shoe, dancing his way up his leg and looking up at Ryan coyly through his long lashes. “Can I suck your cock, Daddy? Please?”

Ryan laughed at him, the sound harsh and cruel against the backdrop of the thumping music beyond the door. “Stupid fucking whore, you haven’t earned it.” He put his foot down, backing away from Gavin and made as though to leave – a flash of panic ran through Ray at the idea of being left here, and the feeling was echoed and magnified in Gavin’s face.

“No, Daddy, please!” Gavin scrambled to his knees, reaching out and snagging Ryan’s pants, trying to tug him back. “Please, I’ll be so good, I’ll do anything to suck your-“

Ryan’s hand came down in a backhand that sent Gavin crashing to the floor. Instead of curling on his side and backing away, though, Gavin let out a moan, lifting his head as though begging for another blow. Ryan delivered it to the other cheek with a smirk, eyes laughing as Gavin let out a needy sound and lifted his head once more.

It would bruise, Ray could tell that now. Tears pricked at his eyes as the helplessness of his situation began to really set in.

“Please!” Gavin whimpered when the next blow didn’t come. “God, please, Daddy, let me suck your cock, I’ll make it so fucking good for you.”

Ryan gripped Gavin’s chin with unforgiving fingers, holding the boy’s face steady. “You wanna earn my cock, bitch?”

“ _God_ , yes,” Gavin breathed, like a prayer.

Ryan shoved him away hard, so that he sprawled on the floor again, though Gavin was quick to clamber back to his knees. Ryan had already turned away though, scanning the room and smiling when he saw his target.

“Burnie, care to give me a hand?” he said, and Ray’s breathing fucking stopped dead.

Gavin had spoken of Burnie before – a cruel, sadistic man who liked to humiliate and degrade Gavin in some of the worst ways that Ray had ever heard. Gavin had haltingly told Ray of their last encounter, of the way that Burnie had drugged Gavin until he passed out and then fucked him, no condom or protection. Gavin had woken up alone, confused and dazed with come in his ass, with only bare-bones memories of the few hours before.

Burnie scared the _holy fuck_ out of Ray.

Ryan leaned in close to Gavin, holding him by his hair so that he couldn’t pull away. He murmured something into Gavin’s ear that Ray couldn’t catch, and then turned to Burnie to murmur, assumedly, the same thing. Ray watched with a growing sense of dread as Burnie’s smirk grew into a full grin, eyes falling on Ray with a hungry light. Ray shrank back against the wall, wishing that he could simply disappear with Gavin.

Burnie turned toward a table, sweeping the glasses off with no care to the fact that Gavin was suddenly having to dodge flying alcohol, cups, and empty cans. From where he was trapped, Ray could see that the table was covered in the remnants of someone’s coke habit. Burnie climbed on top of the table, spreading his legs and fisting his own cock, while Gavin looked on longingly, held in place by Ryan’s firm hand in his hair.

“Please!” Gavin whimpered, straining against Ryan, trying to get to Burnie.

“Hush, Burnie’s gonna let you earn my cock,” Ryan said, giving Gavin a shake.

Ray couldn’t tear his eyes away, watching as Burnie worked himself over. It was only when Ray managed to drag his eyes up from Gavin that he realized that Burnie’s gaze wasn’t on the blond on the floor – Burnie was staring at Ray, like he was some kind of delectable treat, or something shiny and new that he could take and destroy. There was _hunger_ in those eyes, as well as a violence that frightened Ray to the core, and it hit him, very suddenly, that he very well could be in Gavin’s situation. It wouldn’t be hard to get Ray drunk or high, given that Ray had a low tolerance, and Ryan certainly had no moral qualms about it. He could throw Ray to the wolves at any time. Ryan was literally Ray’s only protection.

Burnie held his gaze as he jerked himself off, coming with a toothy grin that morphed into moan, white splattering all over the cocaine-covered table. Ryan finally released Gavin, and Ray watched with absolute horror as Gavin bent over the table, licking up every drop, heedless of the cocaine. He did it slowly, moaning like he was in some kind of porn, like he _enjoyed_ it, like he couldn’t get enough of it.

“This is what he is,” Ryan said, suddenly close to Ray’s ear. “A filthy, desperate whore who can’t get enough abuse. He _likes_ this, baby, he wants more. He’ll do anything for this.”

Ray shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“God, you’re so pretty when you cry,” Ryan said, and bit down on Ray’s neck, higher than he ever had, until Ray was screaming behind the gag, sobbing and trying to pull away and out of Ryan’s iron hold.

 

Ryan took Ray away before the gangbang was officially over. Gavin had been drugged again, given another couple rounds of shots, and Ray had no idea what time it was or how long they had been in that awful room. He was torn between trying to stay and wanting to run as far away as he could, but Ryan took that decision out of his hands with a bruising grip on his upper arms as he led the boy through the empty nightclub.

The ride back was silent, Ryan working on his phone and Ray staring out the window with a hollow heart and a horrified mind.

“You’re going to do that to me,” Ray finally said quietly. “Aren’t you?”

Ryan didn’t even look up. “You’ll beg me for it, just like he did.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something gives, and everything moves in cycles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please heed the character death warning.

Ray slept for two days. He ignored meals and showers, opting instead for curling up in Gavin’s bed and sleeping away the memories of that awful, horrible room in the back of Ryan’s club. Day three dawned (or set, he wasn’t really sure about time anymore – there was sunlight, and it could have been late evening or early morning) with the sound of the door being thrown open, banging back against the wall. Ray shot up, sucking in breath, still halfway in a nightmare about being chained to the wall once more, just as the door closed again.

There’s Gavin, in a heap face-down on the floor, clothes rumpled and hair an unholy mess.

Ray was out of the bed in a flash, kneeling down beside the man and gently rolling him onto his back. Gavin’s lips were cracked, one split open and still sluggishly bleeding in a trail down his chin. One of his eyes was still bruised, from what Ray can assume was the night Ryan found out about their escape plan, and his cheeks were healing from slaps and backhands to a sickly highlighter yellow. There was a ring of bruises around his neck reminiscent of the last time that Ray could remember this happening, and he wished fervently that they were in his apartment, that they could have a second chance at getting out.

All the doors were closed now.

“Gavin,” Ray said, heart in his throat. “Gavin, open your eyes, man, come on.” He held Gavin’s face gingerly in his hands, the only real sign of life being the breaths puffed out onto his palm, the soft rise and fall of his chest.

Ray swallowed. He didn’t want to leave Gavin to wake up alone, but he wasn’t really strong enough to move him. He rushed to the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth, wetting it with lukewarm water. Gavin was still out when he knelt beside him once more, dabbing at his lips and the blood carefully, wiping away the sweat and… whatever else was on Gavin’s face.

Finally, Gavin began to stir, blinking slowly awake, wincing at the sight of the light above him. Ray breathed a sigh of relief – he was half-sure that this time, Gavin wouldn’t be waking, that Gavin would just slip away into darkness and be gone from him forever.

“Hey,” Ray breathed, bringing the cloth up again to dab at one of the bruises on Gavin’s cheek. “Welcome back.”

Gavin groaned a little, lifting one hand to curl it loosely in Ray’s shirt as he blinked. “Is… issat m’shirt?” he slurred out.

“Yep,” Ray said. “Gav, I need to know if anything’s broken. Do you know?”

Gavin slowly shook his head. “Bruised,” he said, and then, quieter, “torn. Not broken.”

Ray swallowed back the bile threatening to come up, and set about getting Gavin at least halfway on his feet. Eventually they managed to stumble into the bathroom together, Gavin leaning heavily on a sink while Ray gently stripped him, pulling away what remained of his clothing. The shirt came off with difficulty as Gavin struggled to lift his arms above his head, and when Ray pulled it away, he saw the myriad of scratches and bruises on Gavin’s torso, as well as…

“ _Fuck_ ,” Ray said, and nearly threw up. “Are those… are those _cigarette burns_?”

Gavin nodded, eyes closed again. “Ryan was angry. He wanted to see me cry,” he said tiredly, like he couldn’t work up the energy to add emotion into his words. “Wanted me to… pay.”

Ray didn’t say anything – words just wouldn’t come. Instead, he began to work Gavin’s jeans off, pulling them down and away to reveal handprint and fingerprint bruises all over the miles of skin. When he looked up, he was faced with Gavin’s briefs, and for a moment they were being shoved in his mouth again, tape closing his lips so that he couldn’t scream, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t call out for Gavin or God or anyone who would _listen_ -

“Love?”

Ray started, eyes darting up to Gavin’s – he knew that they would reveal his own fears, why his hands were shaking when he pulled the underwear down and away. When he looked up again, Gavin was staring at him, horrified, tears glistening in his eyes.

“Oh God,” Gavin said, hoarse. “Oh God, he made you watch, I _remember_ , I…”

Ray surged to his feet. “I’m sorry,” he said, even as Gavin dropped his head in his hands, sobs shaking his shoulders. “I’m sorry, that bastard _made_ me, he… he said if I didn’t, if I wasn’t _good_ , that he’d never let me see you again.”

“I _liked_ it,” Gavin whispered, like he was confessing some damning secret. “That you were watching, I… I was so caught up, I didn’t…”

“It’s not your fault,” Ray said softly.

“This whole bloody thing is my fault,” Gavin replied in a defeated, worn-out voice. “It was my stupid idea, wasn’t it? Now you’re caught in this too.”

Like flies in a spider’s web, Ray thought, struggling and struggling until they were finally drained clean.

“It was _our_ idea,” Ray said, licking his lips. “We’re in this together.”

Gavin was silent after that, while Ray started the water in the shower, undressing himself quickly. He managed to get the both of them in, and for awhile they just stood under the spray, holding each other like they were protected from the world here, from dark club rooms and from Ryan. When Gavin lifted his head from Ray’s shoulder, it was to press a gentle kiss to his jaw, and then he pulled back slightly, a hollow expression on his face.

“I can’t live like this,” he said softly, defeated. “I can’t… I won’t survive another fucking gangbang, if he doesn’t kill me himself first.”

“What…” Ray took a deep breath. “What are you saying, Gavin?”

Gavin dropped his eyes, watching the pink swirl of blood and water down the drain. “I don’t want to die in some club’s back room while a John fucks me,” he said, a little more determined. “And I sure as hell don’t want to die with _his_ fucking dick up my ass. I wanna go…” He choked, sucking in a breath and looking at Ray, then up at the spray of water coming down on them. “I want to die looking at someone that I love. That loves me.” He dropped his eyes again, this time meeting Ray’s gaze dead on. “Please, love.”

“No.” It was Ray’s knee-jerk reaction, a quick reflex. He _can’t_ , there’s no way – this is _Gavin_ , his beautiful broken golden boy.

“ _Please_.”

And God, Gavin is _begging him_ , begging for death, for Ray to… to…

“Please don’t make me go through that again,” Gavin said, voice thick like he was trying not to cry.

“I won’t,” Ray said, brokenly. “I won’t, you won’t ever… never again.”

Gavin’s face crumpled, like some great weight had been lifted from him, and he curled into Ray’s shoulder, sobbing and sobbing, all while Ray watched the water rain down on them, and wished it would take them with it.

 

_“By the time you’re where I am, he’ll have a new boy and I’ll be…”_

**_“Dead.”_ **

 

The bar was a dive, greasy food and sleazy people, a dance floor with too many drunk people on it. Neon signs advertising beers glittered, and Ray wondered, briefly, if he should have worn gold eyeliner, just to mark the occasion. It would have looked out of place with the hoodie and jeans that he wore.

Gavin had been gone for a year and a half, and Ray still hated bars.

There was a boy sitting at the bar – or a man, really, Ray couldn’t think of him as a boy. It wasn’t too terribly long ago that he’d been in a similar seat, staring angrily down into a drink. He took a seat next to the man, raised a finger at the bartender for a beer (hated the taste, but then, he’d learned to tolerate a lot these days).

“Hey there,” he said, turning to face the decidedly _pissed_ man next to him – cherubic cheeks, freckles, curly hair. Cute. “I’m Ray.”

“Fuck off.”

If Ray looked close enough, he could see the bruises that the man was trying to hide under his hoodie. “I’ll bet you good money that your boyfriend gave you those bruises. Let me guess, high off coke and hanging on a little too tight?”

“Fuck _off_.”

“There’s probably more where that came from. Trust me, I would know.” And Ray reached up, pulling his own hoodie to the side to reveal a matching ring of bruises, fingerprints dark on his skin.

The man didn’t say anything, instead looking for a long moment before swallowing. “What the fuck do you know,” he finally managed, turning back to his drink.

Ray glanced around – coast was still clear – and leaned in. “I know he usually doesn’t let you out of the house this long, does he? Ryan’s a possessive, controlling bastard like that.”

The man froze, and Ray pulled away. He geared up for the next words, knowing that he was setting something in motion that couldn’t be stopped – again. If he concentrated, he could feel a hand on his shoulder that wasn’t there, a voice echoing through him that wasn’t his.

“You must be Michael,” he said. “We need to talk."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit this was fun. Okay, as always, you can find me at [my tumblr](http://jellyfish-fic.tumblr.com/), where commissions are OPEN! 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Emono, you're a star and I adore you!


End file.
